7 Office Pranks to Lighten the Mood

Are things a little stressful around your office? Maybe try one of these pranks on your co-workers to lighten up the mood.

  1. Castrating the Mouse
    This is a classic. There is nothing more frustrating than having your mouse jump all over the screen or simply not work at all. Most people can’t function with the keyboard alone. Simply remove the mouse ball from the bottom of the mouse and then put the mouse back together like normal. If your co-worker has a mouse with a laser, then you can place a piece of masking tape over the laser to get the same effect. I actually got suspended from my high school for doing this 
  2. Where is that sound coming from?
    Did you know that you can setup a rule in Outlook to play a sound every time they receive an email? Download a really annoying sound clip and then access their Outlook Rules and Alerts. Create a new blank rule. Apply this rule after the message arrives, on this machine only, play a sound (select the sound clip from earlier), and then click Finish. If you want to drive them nuts, just turn their speakers down so they don’t know where the sound is coming from. To go over the top, turn their speakers way up so everyone else will get a chance to hear.
  3. My Chair Just Isn’t Right
    It’s always fun to mess with someone’s office chair. We used to make the height of the chair really low, and then put Vaseline or lotion on the handle used to raise it back up. That way when they go to adjust their chair, they get a nice little surprise.
  4. My Desktop Broke
    Get a screen shot of your co-workers screen while they are gone. Hide their task bar, minimize all their applications, and remove their desktop icons to a folder on their hard drive. Now put that earlier screen shot as their background. They will go nuts trying to figure out why nothing happens when they click on things. Even a reboot doesn’t solve the problem!
  5. What’s wrong with my phone?
    If you work in a call center, then placing a small piece of transparent tape over the microphone can really cause some hilarity.
  6. My Computer Is Possessed
    Using remote assistance software can really lead to some funny pranks. VCN works great and it’s free. Just remote into someone computer while they are gone, then when they come back start controlling the mouse and keyboard on their screen! They will think it’s possessed.
  7. My Computer Is Possessed Part II
    If two co-workers computer are in close proximity, switch the mouse or keyboard plugs on the back of the computers. That way they will each have some control of what’s happening on the other’s computer, but without knowing it.

5 Reasons People Still Use Internet Explorer 6

Cross-browser development can be a real pain. Every web developer that has ever had to do a hack to get some part of their website to work correctly in Internet Explorer 6 knows what I’m talking about. Even with IE7 being out for nearly two years, my analytics still show that half of my traffic is using IE6.
Here are 5 reasons they still use an outdated, Swiss cheese security, painfully slow browser.

  1. They don’t know what a browser is.
    I love it when someone comes to me and says, “My internet is broken. When I open it up I see something I’ve never seen before.” Then you find out that all that happened is that their homepage changed. Many people think that the browser IS the internet. Until they can fundamentally grasp what the internet is, they will never have an appreciation for the browser they use.
  2. They don’t know that there are alternative browsers.
    Like number one, if they are even capable of identifying what the browser is, most people are unaware that they have choices. They other caveat is the person (like my dad) who, once he finds out he does have a choice, he installs 10 different browsers. If one browser by one company is good, 10 browsers by 10 companies must be even better.
  3. They are afraid of change.
    People fear what they can’t understand. They put so much effort into learning how to use a browser correctly that it’s just too much work to switch to something different, even though it could be faster, easier, or safer.
  4. They thought the upgrade notice from Windows was a pop-up ad.
    People are really paranoid out there. Going so far as to put multiple firewalls and virus scanning packages on their machines. If they do get a notice to upgrade, they are so distrusting of ad-ware or spy-ware that they typically just ignore it.
  5. They don’t care about having a “good internet experience”.
    Hey, they are just glad to be on the “internets”. This makes me wonder if they even care that my CSS doesn’t render properly when they look at my site. Unfortunately my boss uses IE6 and he DOES care if my CSS doesn’t render properly for him.

Please, if you’re viewing this with IE6, switch to a different browser. Even upgrading to IE7 is better than what you’re using now. You’d be doing every web developer a favor by installing Firefox, but Opera and Safari are ok too.

My PHP Sandwich

What if I could control my world the same way that I control a website? Even if you don’t program I think you can understand this:

<?php
// sandwich options
$meat = array('Ham', 'Turkey', 'Balogna', 'Tuna');
$bread = array('Whole Wheat', 'White', 'Potatoe');
$spread = array('Mayo', 'Mustard', 'French Dressing');

// get random sandwich ingredients
$randomMeat = $meat[rand(0,count($meat)-1)];
$randomBread = $bread[rand(0,count($bread)-1)];
$randomSpread = $spread[rand(0,count($spread)-1)];

// make a sandwich
makeSandwich($randomMeat, $randomBread, $randomSpread);

/**
 * makes a sandwich out of the given ingredients
 *
 * @author Tim Golen (tg)
 *         04/08/2008 - (tg) created function
 * @param string $meat
 * @param string $bread
 * @param string $spread
 * @return array
 */
function makeSandwich($meat, $bread, $spread){
    $mySandwich = array(
        $bread,
        $spread,
        $meat,
        $bread);
    return $mySandwich;
}
?>

How the Internet Has Made My Life Better


The internet was a marvelous invention. I remember in high school when we first started using the internet, the one question I kept having was “If all those websites exist out there, how are you supposed to find them?” It’s come a long way since then. Here are some ways that the internet made my life better.

  1. It gave me a job building websites.
    I’ve been developing sites for about the last 5 years. I first taught myself while working the weekend graveyard shift at IBM. There was a lot of time to spare.
  2. I no longer have to take the salesman’s word for it.
    If I want to buy something, I can do my own research. I can read hundreds of other consumer reviews, find newer/better products, and find the cheapest prices. Get thou behind me salesman!
  3. I can get directions to anyplace easily.
    Mapquest was one of the first, but now Google Maps is amazing. Now they have street view… It’s kinda scary that not only can people find my house, they can see it too.
  4. I can throw away my yellow pages.
    I still have people dropping off phone books at my front door. What a waste of paper! What’s even funnier though is that when my parents come and stay with me, they ask for a phonebook.
  5. I can look busy at work when there is nothing to do.
    Sometimes when I have downtime at work, I just surf the internet… play games, read comics, post blog articles. The nice thing is that without looking at my screen, my activity looks just like it always does.
  6. I can give away my junk for free on Craigslist.
    A couple of weeks ago we cleaned out some stuff in our house. I didn’t know how in the world we would get rid of all that stuff, but I posted it for free on Craigslist. Within 2 hours everything was gone. I didn’t even have to worry about recycling that old CRT computer monitor! It’s like free trash collecting.
  7. I finally found a date.
    I used to do a lot of internet dating. I had some dates that were really awful. Fortunately though, I wouldn’t have met my wife if it hadn’t been for a blind internet date (no, I didn’t meet my wife on the internet, I was introduced to her through the person I dated from the internet).
  8. I was able to break-up without a face-to-face conversation.
    Email is an amazing way to communicate. I can tell someone whatever I want and don’t have to worry about being slapped for it (at least immediatly). Warning: Consequences for telling someone whatever you want might not happen immediately, but they will happen. People still have feelings.
  9. I can buy things without leaving my house.
    Online shopping is a must for today’s busy lifestyles. I can do an afternoon of shopping without putting my pants on! In the meantime my wife has to primp herself for an afternoon at the mall. I think we know who’s having more fun.
  10. I can share my opinions with others.
    You’re reading it… what can I say?